The Imperfect Caregiver

When friends or family members question you about the care you are providing it is often because they don’t see what you see, or hear what you hear. They are not losing sleep because your loved one is up all night demanding to go to the bathroom every few minutes. They are not there to witness the tantrums caused by confusion and fear in the one needing care.

When visitors do come, they pull themselves together, holding on to their dignity as hard as they can. It’s exhausting for them and the result is a meltdown once the guests leave. You live with every part of these dreadful diseases.

I suggest is to use your smart phone to record what happens in the explosive moments. When someone questions your truth, share the video with them. It may result in understanding and maybe, an offer of help.

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As dementia progresses, the caregiver becomes the memory keeper. When they no longer recognize us, we vividly recall who they were before this devastating disease robbed them of so much.

There is no denying that seeing a blank stare where a welcoming smile once greeted us is one of the most panful moments we face. But, I’m here to remind you that it is not a moment of failure for either of you. When recognized for what it is, a moment of infinite trust, it can be the beginning of acceptance as you enter Stage Five of the Six Stages of Caregiving. the Transitioning Caregiver. It is in this stage we: Release the fear, let others in, and think about what’s next.

To learn about the Six Stages of Caregiving and for information about how to book Bobbi for an online appearance or webinar go to Bobbi’s website: www.BobbiCarducci.com