About Rodger

Like most people, Rodger Carducci was many things to many people. His life was long and he lived it the best he could. It’s important, as I write about the time I spent as his caregiver, to remember he wasn’t always sick and in need of care.
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In his youth he was handsome and brilliant. He grew up on farm in Italy yet he held advanced degrees in literature and mathematics. He spoke several languages. As a teen he actively resisted the Gestapo when they took over the family farm. After emigrating to America he served in the U.S. Army.

He was a much-loved son, brother, husband, father, grandfather, and great-grandfather. A farmer, poet, accountant, soldier, janitor, mental patient and ordinary man.
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He was my teacher in so many ways and the time we spent together was a gift. I loved him very much.

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10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Debbie
    Nov 22, 2013 @ 14:55:01

    It truly shows that he was well loved! Thank you for sharing your life as a caregiver.

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  2. linda sittig
    May 05, 2014 @ 22:40:38

    Oh wow, it is so important for us to remember that the ones in our care were once vibrant members of society and still need to feel valued.

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  3. amecera
    Jul 05, 2014 @ 22:15:12

    Bobbi, I liked how you showed a photo of Rodger when he was young. We often forget that the elderly person we see was young, lively, full of life. I’m in awe of your dedication to your father-in-law for all of those years. God bless you.

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  4. Mike S
    Aug 02, 2014 @ 16:24:33

    Bobbi, what a beautiful way of describing self control:

    ” I reversed direction, and instead of reaching toward the shelf to put away a glass I’d removed from the dishwasher, I filled it with water and drank deeply, trying to drown the words before they could escape into the air.”

    Thank you for sharing your experiences.

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  5. Theresa
    Nov 14, 2014 @ 14:08:42

    Bobbi, thank you for posting in the Alzheimer’s Support Group and directing us to your website. I was shocked to see that your father-in-law also had a mental illness before being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Sometimes I feel so alone even with caregivers of Alzheimer’s patients because I felt my mother’s situation is a little different. She has Alzheimer’s now but was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia when I was 18 (although she showed signs years before then) and I have been caring for her ever since (but just since 2013 in my home). I hate to admit this, but It seems almost a relief to say she has Alzheimer’s now because it’s easier to talk about it. People don’t totally understand how brilliant someone with paranoid schizophrenia is and the struggles they have to go through being aware they have this illness. I am very proud of my mother as I can see you are of your father-in-law. There are times, I get sad thinking that life has been unfair to her, but then as you said, most times I realize she is a true Gift. I plan on purchasing your book and staying connected with you. Thank you. Your Blog homepage is beautiful.

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    • Bobbi Carducci
      Nov 14, 2014 @ 14:41:58

      Theresa,
      I understand your feelings completely. We appear to be kindred spirits. I would love to hear your thoughts once you have read Confessions of an Imperfect Caregiver, for I surely was one. I wrote the book in response to many comments from caregivers that they wished someone would write a book that shows what it’s really like. I tried very hard to do that even when it was painful. I look forward to hearing from you again as we continue this new connection.

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  6. Sabeeka Siddiqui
    Aug 01, 2015 @ 23:23:47

    Hi Rodger,

    By way of intro — I’m Sabeeka and have been a caregiver in the past for my grandmother. I attended Stanford and currently work on a caregiver tool that creates a platform for patients and their caretakers to seamlessly organize meals, rides to doctors and announcements of patients health between caregivers, patients, friend and family. Its called Lotsa Helping Hands: lotsahelpinghands.com

    I think your story and efforts are very inspiring.

    We’ve been lucky that 1.8M users (70% cancer patients) find it useful and have created over a 100,000 communities. We are looking inspiring writers/bloggers like you to perhaps provide some input and guide us through your experience and possibly partner with us to give our users a chance to get introduced to your BOOK. We are completely revamping our design and interface so keep in touch!

    Would be interesting in getting on a quick call/Skype and go from there? We’d be honored!

    Best,
    Sabeeka
    sabeeka@lotsahelpinghands.com

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    • Bobbi Carducci
      Aug 12, 2015 @ 09:32:11

      Hello,
      To clarify, I am Bobbi Carducci, now a dedicated caregiver advocate. I wrote the book Confessions of an Imperfect Caregiver and I write this blog. I am intrigued by your invitation to speak with you about caregiving. Shall we schedule a date and time? Rodger is the name of my father-in-law for whom I was a caregiver for 7 years. Rodger passed away in 2009. I look forward to hearing more from you.

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