The Imperfect Caregiver

Mom refuses to change her clothes? It’s been four days!

Five reasons why this often happens and what may help change her mind: 

1. She thinks she just put them on. Days may run together for her and sometimes her mind has taken her back in time. Try telling her the day of the week and suggesting it’s time to change her clothes. “Good morning, Mom. It’s Monday, clean clothes day.” If she resists, don’t insist. Give her time to think about it. She may surprise you later by changing her clothes on her own. It’s become her idea.What is four days to you could be only moments ago to her.
2. She doesn’t understand why you are trying to take her clothes from her. She is warm and comfortable as she is. She may have body issues, (don’t we all) and not want you to see her unclothed. Set out some clean clothes and walk away. Curiosity may result in her checking them out and trying them on. Again, don’t insist. Let it become her choice.
3. She doesn’t remember how to take them off.  Buttons and snaps are hard for her. She can’t figure out how to get her arm through a sleeve or the leg of a pair of pants. Dementia friendly clothing is available for women and men from sites like this and others: https://www.silverts.com
4. She can’t tell that they are dirty.  Dementia affects vision and her clothes look fine to her. People with dementia often have very limited peripheral vision. When she looks down, it’s like looking through a pair of binoculars. She can’t see that her shirt has multiple stains. Gently tell her that there is a spill that may stain and suggest she put the item in the laundry. Now she is doing something she has done many times, putting clothes in the laundry, and you are not making her change her clothes.
5. She doesn’t recognize what a shirt, a pair of pants, or skirt are.Muted colors are sometimes hard for someone with dementia to see. Try laying out clothing in bright colors. Reds, deep blues, yellows, greens, and purples for instance. If her selections clash, who cares? They are clean and you have avoided some stress. Things of different shapes and sizes that move on hangers when she tries to touch them frighten her. Too many choices confuse her.

Note: These suggestions may work once or twice and then never again. Some may not work at all for you. However, giving them a try may help and can’t hurt.

If you have a suggestion for other caregivers, please post it here. Caregivers get it in a way no one else can.

Bobbi Carducci is a Certified Caregiving Consultant, CCC and a Certified Caregiving Educator, CCE.  To schedule a FREE 30 minute consultation or for details on how to schedule a presentation, send and email to info@bobbicarducci.com