The Imperfect Caregiver

In how many little ways did you and your spouse share the meaning of those words? Not only on Valentine’s Day but while living each day together.

Memories swell and it hurts when on this day nothing anyone can do or say will ease the pain of what these terrible diseases have taken from you.

Unfortunately, what may help him or her may very well make it more difficult for you. Dementia takes our loves ones back in time. They cannot enter our world. We must go into theirs if we hope to connect.

Here are some simple things to try in order to do that:

• Play your song. The one you danced to when dating, or the one you chose together on a special day together.
• Bring out keepsakes you collected on trips over the years.
• If you have any homemade cards your children or grandchildren made, set them out where they are in easy line of sight.
• Call him or her by the silly special name you used in the past.

Simply say,” I love you Valentine. Be Mine.”

If all of this advice is too painful, I understand. Ignore the whole thing and be kind to yourself. If you feel like venting, you can always do it here. I understand. Sometimes nothing works and all we can do is let our feelings out and start over again tomorrow as the living embodiment of lasting love.