How could I do that when no matter what I did he continued to worsen?
Things accomplished one day were no longer possible the next. Memories came and went within moments. Laughter turned to tears and acceptance to anger so quickly it was impossible to know why.
Who am I describing in that passage? Him or me?
It could be either. In truth, it’s both.
I came to finally trust myself because I finally realized I was the best person to do this, flawed as I was. I made it up as I went along and so do you. That’s how this is done when you are juggling the love and the loss. “All at once, all the time.”