The meltdowns were one of the hardest things I had to deal with as a caregiver. Not his. Mine. The times when I felt drained and had nothing more to give. His resentment, anger, and accusations overwhelmed me.
“She’s no damned good. I know all about women like her,” he told the nurses. “She’s poisoning me,” he said to a sheriff’s deputy one day. “She doesn’t give me any food,” he complained to my husband.
So yes, I had meltdowns. Many of them. And the guilt afterword was overwhelming. How could I behave like that? What was wrong with me?
The answer is, nothing. Just as there is nothing wrong with you when it happens. We all have our limitations and the stress gets to us. Sometimes emotion overcomes us. It’s normal. It’s natural. It will happen. And you will feel the guilt. Let it wash over you and then let it go. You are doing your best and you don’t have to everything right in order to do the right thing.
When things become too hard know that The Imperfect Caregiver understands and is here for you. Contact me anytime.
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