I Don’t Think I Can Do This Anymore

I felt that way so many times in the seven years I spent as a caregiver for Rodger. I cried and vented and wished for more wisdom daily. I saw every setback, every new symptom, and every dreadful new diagnosis as a sign of failure on my part.

Scalded by guilt, worn down by his refusal to trust me, I resented him. Fearing where this spiral would take us and knowing any chance of respite care was weeks away, I began to pray. There were no miracles for us. He was not cured. I did not develop the patience of a saint. But it helped me understand, again, that he and I were not alone. And in that moment that’s exactly what I needed.

Dear God

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NaBloPoMo November 2014

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jennie
    Nov 18, 2014 @ 16:42:55

    Amen……..wow someone understands!!

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    Reply

    • Bobbi Carducci
      Nov 18, 2014 @ 16:54:40

      Jennie, Your comment means everyhting to me. Caregivers often feel alone and, even worse, feel guilty for feeling as they do. That is why I write this blog and why I felt I must write the book, Confessions of an Imperfect Caregiver. It was almost as tough writing it as it was living it. I had to go right back into it and feel those emotions again. And to expose myself as I did was heart wrenching at times. However, when I hear from readers I know it was worth it. Bless you for commenting. Please stay in touch.

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      Reply

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